Whether I’m coaching an executive, speaking at an event, or writing a book, I am passionate about helping people overcome challenges to succeed. In business, in relationships — in life.
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“I’m from Jersey, you from Jersey?”
Published 2 days ago • 7 min read
The Mansfield Newsletter
Empowering you to overcome challenges and succeed
Have you ever experienced the phenomenon of doing, seeing, or hearing something and suddenly you start experiencing that “something” over and over via other people, places, or times?
It seems to be everywhere – all at the same time. Maybe, it’s bumping across people from your home state… like an extended version of The Sopranos in New Jersey. Or maybe it’s your new car suddenly seems like everyone is driving…or possibly it’s when couples become pregnant…or EVEN hearing a NEW ubiquitous word (like “ubiquitous”) repeated over and over again. Something happens and just keeps happening to (or at) you. And it seems it’s happening to many people around you at the same time – it seems to be an individual tipping point for you. Or does it?
You’re not crazy. Neither am I. Yet it IS the reality of the “I’m from Jersey, you from Jersey?” sort of thing.
(True confessions - My family actually is from Jersey, but they’re not a part of SNL nor The Sopranos, ha.)
This is not my family photo.
Here’s a ubiquitous example from my life. As you know, I’m scheduled to have heart surgery in late November, to correct a congenital heart valve defect and to “sleeve” an aortic aneurysm caused by the defective valve. Originally it was set to happen at a well known hospital in LA, with the recovery following in Palm Springs. When originally presented to me, I wasn’t fond of the idea of surgery or recovering so far from home. Ah, but that’s not the point of this newsletter, now, is it? Well, actually, the two facts ARE connected.
You see, at the same moment in time, I was processing the acts of the terrorist organization, Hamas, and their barbarous October 7th attack against Jews in Israel. It was a profound moment of sadness for me so I sought out Tim Cowles - my mentor on all things Israel, a travel agent friend. I have traveled to Israel several times as a co-leader with him and he is a wealth of knowledge about Israel.
As we met at a coffee shop to discuss the Israel issue, something very different happened. At an odd, throw-away moment in the discussion my Israeli expert explained he had recently had the EXACT heart operation that I am scheduled to have.
Exact!
I sat stunned. From that VERY discussion came an entire change of plans for my operation, allowing me to remain in my hometown under the care of the nationally-known-yet-local heart surgeon who operated on Tim and had also done thousands of these types of operations. I’ll even be able to recover in my own residence over the holidays.
Soon after, another friend from years ago, JJ, told me of his own recent heart operation and EVEN opened his shirt (obviously without my prodding! Ha!) to show me his scar, done by the very same heart surgeon that Tim used and who I will soon use! “Everybody’s having open heart surgery!” I said to myself. “I’m from Jersey, you from Jersey?” also began to sound in my inner ear…
What was going on? A form of a tipping point was happening.
Has that type of repeated coincidence happened to you in your life? Maybe it was with cars, clothes, vacation spots, being pregnant…or anything else that seemed immediately coincidental? It’s really an interesting experience. And it’s real. No kidding. Oh…and why did I include the Hamas terrorist group when I began this line of questioning?
It may seem strange, but a terrorism group is connected to this form of thinking; the phenomenon is named after the German terrorist group, Baader-Meinhof. As HowStuffWorks.com writes,
“Welcome to the world of the Baader-Meinhof phenomenon, otherwise known as the frequency illusion. This cognitive bias occurs when something you've noticed or recently learned suddenly seems to appear everywhere. But is it really appearing more frequently, or is your brain just paying more attention to it? The name was coined in 1994 by a commenter on the St. Paul, Minnesota, Pioneer Press online commenting board. The commenter had heard two references to the Baader-Meinhof gang within 24 hours and decided to name the frequency illusion after them [sources: BBC, Pioneer Press]: “The 'Same Car' Syndrome You've probably experienced the Baader-Meinhof effect without even realizing it. Have you ever bought a new car or even just learned about a new car model, and then started seeing it everywhere? This is a classic example of the Baader-Meinhof phenomenon. Your brain is subconsciously looking for the car, and as a result, you start noticing it more. Learning a New Word Another common example is when you learn a new word, and then suddenly start noticing it everywhere — in books, articles and conversations. This is because your brain has deemed the word as important and it is subconsciously looking for it. (That’s quite ubiquitous, isn’t it? tee hee) Real-Life Application: Marketing and Advertising Understanding the Baader-Meinhof phenomenon is crucial for marketing and advertising professionals. By exposing potential customers to a product or brand multiple times, marketers can trigger the Baader-Meinhof effect, making people believe that the product or brand is more popular or widespread than it actually is.”
So, my questions are these:
What are you pretending not to know about tipping points that seem new to you? Are they really new; or is it a frequency illusion and your subconscious is elevating it as if it is really important?
Have you put an inordinate amount of time desiring things (like fancy cars and expensive houses) that SEEMED like better places to live or own? Could it be that your thinking patterns were just jumbled up because of the very elements described in frequency illusions?
What can you do to make yourself more aware of the marketing that is manipulating your choices in the media that you consume?
Let’s unpack these thoughts:
Stop pretending.
It’s an amazing question to ask yourself: “What am I pretending not to know about certain tipping points?” In his 2002 book, The Tipping Point, Malcolm Gladwell writes of small moments that changed history. He calls them tipping points.
“By tinkering with the presentation of information, we can significantly improve its stickiness. Simply by finding and reaching those few special people who hold so much social power, we can shape the course of social epidemics. In the end, Tipping Points are a reaffirmation of the potential for change and the power of intelligent action. Look at the world around you. It may seem like an immovable, implacable place. It is not. With the slightest push-in just the right place-it can be tipped.”
What are you pretending NOT to push into, to change your world?
Stop desiring far-away things.
We tend to think often about things that will improve our social standing. Our minds subconsciously move us towards people and things that we think are important. Fan magazines have long held the key to understanding the drawing power of desire for which we do not have:
“Conceived to promote, popularize, and trade off the fledgling art of film in early Hollywood, the publication of fan magazines dates back to 1911 when Motion Picture Story magazine and Photoplay first appeared. These magazines provided readers with an illusion of intimacy with the stars, and fed into their fantasies of the opulent lifestyles and sometimes scandal-ridden private lives of the famous.”
But do we really need/desire more than what we already have? “Desiring” is best understood by breaking down the word:
“The word desire has its origins in the Latin word desiderare, which means "to long for" or "to wish for." This Latin term is derived from de- (meaning "from" or "of") and sidus (meaning "star"), which implies a sense of longing for something that is absent or distant, like a star that one wishes to reach.”
Stop being manipulated by the media.
Finally, when you come across trash, throw it out. Prior to preparing this newsletter I watched the episodic series The Perfect Couple. I saw that the global numbers of viewers was quite astounding. The show itself was just plain stupid, nasty and icky.
Netflix manipulated itself and all who watched it in a way that one person on Reddit summed it up:
“I found it really disappointing. I didn’t expect it to be the greatest piece of TV ever but I liked Little Big Liesand Expats and expected something with a somewhat similar vibe. I didn’t expect something with such high-profile actors to be so cheesy. The show had some really serious tone issues, it started as a detective story played straight with the occasional humorous elements, by the end I couldn’t tell if it was trying to spoof the genre of the upscale family with secrets murder mystery. And it’s not good satire if you can’t really tell it is satire. The ending was unsatisfactory, everyone was surprisingly calm considering the family is destroyed and they’ll have to raise a child whose mother is in prison.”
My take-away of the experience of watching this terrible show was that I will exit stage right on every Netflix episodic trash show in the future, no matter the quality of the cast – which this one had some VERY talented folks.
But that’s not all, as our presidential political season comes to a close in early November, the media bias against conservatives leaves me speechless – and THAT’S saying something after 40+ years of active conservative political involvement. All I can hear myself saying is “Turn it off!”
Here’s why: listen to the first three minutes of this link by an old associate of mine, Brent Bozell, as he gives a terrific overview of why we must choose to stop being manipulated by the national media.
Here are the goals:
Choose to watch and read things that are uplifting and challenge your thinking; don’t just recycle old things and pretend they’re new.
Re-focus your wants to be equal to your needs. Choose contentment. Hold firm to the things that you currently can reach with your hands instead of letting your heart move you in the direction of the stars.
Stop believing the media. Think deeper. Think longer. Think holistically. Think critically. And quit consuming trash.
More later,
Den
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Go back to the Brent Bozell video piece above and finish the remaining time on the interview. It’s worth it. A long time ago I knew Brent personally and worked with him for a while. I still appreciate the hard work he does for conservative causes. He’s a faithful soldier.
Buy The Tipping Pointon Amazon here. It is an older book; one that still packs a punch for those of us who like facts.
Please keep me in your prayers for healing of my heart, so that I might just not have to have the operation after all; now wouldn’t that be ubiquitous? (Definition FINALLY here)
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Whether I’m coaching an executive, speaking at an event, or writing a book, I am passionate about helping people overcome challenges to succeed. In business, in relationships — in life.
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